Is my message too long? When can I follow up? Is it offensive if I leave this never-ending group chat?

With messaging on the rise, and the etiquette surrounding messaging in question, Messenger from Facebook partnered with Debrett’s to release the first formal guide of its kind: “The Art of Digital Messaging.”

As the holidays are upon us, I wanted to go over a few of the season’s stickiest party scenarios. Messaging etiquette is more important than ever and knowing a few key rules can help you avoid some tricky situations.

HOLIDAY OFFICE PARTY

Sticky situation #1: Your team is having a blast. You’re posing for team pictures and snapping selfies. You just took the best picture ever, but in the background is one of your colleagues who maybe had too much eggnog. Do you post or not?

Solution: Say “Please” before “Cheese.” Always ask before you click, and especially before publishing. More and more employers choose to have a click-free party. Or, everyone gathers for the group selfie, and then all put away their devices. Resist the temptation to post your night. Memories are made face to face.

Sticky situation #2: It’s the end of the night but you’re not quite ready to go home. You message your work group chat “Holiday after party in full effect, totally calling in sick tomorrow…” You hit send, and at the same time you remember your manager is in the chat. Do you recall, ignore or acknowledge?

Solution: As difficult as this may be, acknowledge and go to work the next day. For the future refer to Debrett’s Guide launched by Messenger from Facebook, by:

• Knowing your audience
• Honing your tone
• Practicing good exit-quette and seven other guidelines

FAMILY AFFAIRS

Sticky situation #3: You’re organizing a family gathering and you do not have access to everyone’s emails. Is texting or messaging appropriate?

Solution: Messaging has become the new communication norm. Most people use messaging services such as texting, What’s App or Messenger. Also in the Digital Messaging Guide, are the digital messaging best practices:

• Don’t Multi-Message
• Don’t leave them hanging
• Abide by the quick reply
• Give up the ghosting

RSVP PARTY ETIQUETTE

Sticky situation #4: Your neighbour has invited the street over for a holiday gathering on Facebook. You click “Going” and commit to bringing a dish for the potluck. A day later your best friend decides to throw an impromptu party. The timing conflicts. You want to go to your friend’s, but you’ve already accepted? Ditch it or dish it?

Solution: Honour your word, have integrity. You accepted an invitation. Your host has counted you in their plan. Inform your best friend of your commitment to another party. A possibility could be to attend your best friend’s party after your neighbour’s.

REGIFTING DOS AND DON’TS

Sticky situation #5: You have a Secret Santa exchange with friends. You forgot to pick up a gift but you remember you have an unopened gift from last year’s exchange. Is regifting acceptable?

Solution: The packaging and the original instructions must be intact. ­The item must be new and unused. You must be sure that the recipient will appreciate it. You have to be absolutely sure that the “original giver” will never know that you have passed on their gift. The wrapping and note card must be replaced. Lastly, regifting should not be done in front of your children. They may tell…

No matter if you are the host or guest, remember that the making of party memories is evolving and that face-to-face or through Messenger, the message lives on. Before pressing send or posting ask yourself if tomorrow you and others will say “Oh nooo or ho, ho, ho”.

This holiday season, I am proud to be partnering with Messenger by Facebook to present “The Art of Digital Messaging” a guide to digital communications which was developed in partnership with Debrett’s. Based on extensive research its’ 10 guidelines will allow you to shine courtesy and consideration in all your messages.