The Art of Avoiding Neighbour Disputes

With the arrival of summer, neighborhood life is back in full swing. Smiles are exchanged, “hello” echoes over fences, and impromptu aperitifs take place around the barbecue. It’s the perfect time to nurture harmonious neighborhood relations… or to ease any lingering tensions.
Every season brings its share of little everyday situations that can be a source of misunderstanding. But don’t panic! Here are a few suggestions on how to handle these situations with finesse.
I’m aware that these suggestions may sometimes seem a little idealized, even a little artificial. That said, don’t hesitate to adjust your words and approach to suit your personality and situation. The most important thing is to create respectful and authentic exchanges
THE UNLOVED SHRUB
Your neighbors’ children are playing outside, but their dog seems to have adopted your shrub as its toilet.
Talk calmly to the parents, never to the children, and don’t punish the dog:
“Hello! I’ve noticed that your dog seems to have chosen my shrub as its toilet. It’s an area I try to keep clean. Perhaps we could find another solution?” A little humor: “My shrub is starting to feel too popular… It could use a break!”
Stay lighthearted and cooperative, without being accusatory.
THE LOAN PRO
Your neighbor borrows your tools but always forgets to return them.
Remind her politely:
“Hi Mimi! I’m going to sow my field this weekend. Could I have my seed drill back, and while I’m at it, could I also have my drill back by Friday?” With a smile: “My tools seem to like your shed… but I miss them a little!”
Clarity and kindness are essential.
THE CHAOS OF RECYCLING BINS
Your neighbor’s recycling bins are overflowing, and trash is blowing into your yard.
Offer to help:
“Hi! I noticed that the wind has been messing with your bins again. If you want, I can help you secure and organize them.”
A small gesture can make all the difference.
OUT-OF-SEASON DECORATIONS
It’s summer, but your neighbor still has their Christmas lights up.
Offer to help:
“Hi Chantal! We have an extra-long ladder. If you want, we can help you take down your lights this weekend.” Add some humor: “They deserve a little rest until December, don’t they?”
Offer to help rather than criticize to maintain good neighborly relations.
NIGHT-TIME PARTIES
Your neighbors’ young adults often have parties, and the noise disturbs your peace and quiet.
Wait for a quiet moment to talk:
“Hello! Often, the noise and smells when your young people get together prevent us from sleeping, especially the children. Could we talk about it?”
The idea is to remain calm and respectful in order to find a solution together.
CLUMSY RENOVATIONS
Your neighbor’s construction work has damaged your property.
Calmly remind them:
“Hello! I see that the renovations are progressing on your side. The work has caused some damage on our side. Can we discuss it to find a solution?”
The approach is simple: respect and collaboration.
GOOD NEIGHBORHOOD RELATIONS ALSO DEPEND ON YOUR COMMITMENT TO RESPECTING THE CODE OF GOOD NEIGHBORHOOD RELATIONS
- Know the local rules: find out about regulations concerning visual and noise pollution in your neighborhood. Some municipalities limit noise or prohibit items such as clotheslines.
- Get to know your neighbors: get to know them, especially if situations can be frustrating, such as rowdy children or prolonged absences.
- Respect their privacy and property: do not enter their property without permission. Be discreet and teach your children and pets to respect boundaries.
- Be generous: help your neighbors as you would like to be helped. Clear their driveway in winter or share the fruits of your garden.
- Warn them of interruptions: if you are planning a noisy event or party, inform your neighbors in advance. Give them your number so they can contact you directly.
- Don’t ask to borrow anything unless necessary: if you borrow something, return it quickly, and if you break it, replace it.
- Maintain your property: a well-kept neighborhood benefits everyone. Take care of your home and garden.
- Spread positivity: smile, say hello, and be friendly. These small gestures make the environment pleasant.
- Thank your neighbors: whether it’s for a service rendered or a favor, show your gratitude with a note or message.
When conflict turns into a nightmare, start by documenting the incidents. Then, depending on the severity of the situation, you can consult with the municipality, seek citizen mediation, or, if necessary, consult a lawyer to explore your legal options.
In conclusion, whether it’s to defuse tension or simply to maintain good relations, remember that every interaction between neighbors is an opportunity to build a warmer community for everyone. By acting with tact, humor, and respect, you sow the seeds of harmony… which, with a little sunshine and patience, will blossom into a happy neighborhood.
Translated from published article in mitsoumagazine June 11, 2025 (c) Julie Blais Comeau