There was a time—before 9/11 and then again after the pandemic—when air travel felt exotic, pleasant, and sometimes even sexy at 35,000 feet…

Today, a flight can quickly turn into a full-blown, unsolicited sensory festival: someone clipping their nails to your left (true story en route to Toronto for a workshop on… civility!), a teen’s music blasting to your right, while behind you, a child kicks your seat as their mother snores.

In-flight incivility is on the rise. In 2022, the International Air Transport Association (IATA) recorded one incident for every 568 flights, compared to one in 835 the previous year—a significant increase. Turbulence isn’t just about the weather anymore!

Each of us is responsible for creating a smoother travel experience. Here is your guide to flying with courtesy and handling sensory invasions with diplomacy.

WHAT IS SEEN

SHOW COURTESY

Dim your screen brightness and use a privacy filter if you’re working on sensitive projects (see an example here).

Stick to G-rated content—suitable for all audiences. Unfortunately, *Bridgerton* doesn’t make the cut. That’s another good reason to use a privacy screen!

Before opening the window shade, check whether passengers around you are sleeping.

SHOW DIPLOMACY

If a screen is too bright, use a sleep mask or shift your gaze to a fixed point.

If a neighboring shade is letting in too much light: “Would you mind lowering it a little? I need to get some rest.”

WHAT IS HEARD

SHOW COURTESY

Always use headphones, even for short videos.

Speak in a low voice, especially on overnight flights.

Put your phone on silent mode, especially if you’re using in-flight Wi-Fi.

SHOW DIPLOMACY

If a passenger is speaking too loudly, wait to see if they naturally lower their voice. If not, a friendly glance may be enough. Otherwise, smile and say:
“Excuse me, could you please speak a bit more quietly?”
“Sorry, even with your headphones, I can hear your music quite loudly. Would you mind lowering the volume a bit?”

WHAT IS SMELLED

SHOW COURTESY

Avoid bringing strong-smelling food (eggs, fish, spicy dishes) or wearing overpowering fragrances.

Ensure you’re fresh and clean, especially for long flights.

SHOW DIPLOMACY

If a dish has a strong odor, breathe calmly and, if needed, use a scarf or tissue to mask the smell.

If a perfume or body odor is bothering you, it’s best not to say anything. As a former HR director, I can tell you—it’s more sensitive than firing someone! Instead, discreetly open your air vent to circulate the air.

If the smell is unbearable, quietly ask a flight attendant if changing seats is possible.

WHAT IS TOUCHED

SHOW COURTESY

Keep your backpack in front of you and at your feet to avoid hitting someone or knocking over objects.

This rule also applies to public transportation and crowded areas.

Stay within your assigned space—especially arms and legs. No one likes a battle over the armrest.

If you’re in the middle seat, you *do* get access to both armrests—but don’t overdo it.

Don’t toss chewing gum into the airsickness bag. That little courtesy could save a nauseous passenger from a messy accident trying to peel it off.

Don’t hide your trash in the seat pocket—no one wants to find a used tissue or food leftovers there.

SHOW DIPLOMACY

If someone invades your space, wait a moment before gently reclaiming it. A small movement of your arm or foot usually gets the message across.

Otherwise, take a gradual approach: eye contact, a smile, then words:
“Excuse me, would you mind keeping your feet on your side?”

SHARED PROXIMITY

SHOW COURTESY

Don’t spill out of your seat, even when sleeping.

Tie your long hair back. Some people really dislike hair—especially when it’s someone else’s, and it’s in their space.

Don’t take your shoes off unless you’re wearing socks. And if you do, make sure there’s no unpleasant odor.

When walking through the aisle, try to steady yourself using the bottom of the overhead bins—not other passengers’ headrests. You’ve probably experienced it… and it’s not pleasant.

SHOW DIPLOMACY

If someone’s hair is dangling over your screen, try a light movement to get their attention. If that fails:
“Excuse me, your hair is hanging over my screen.”

If someone falls asleep on you, gently shift away, lightly tap their shoulder if needed, and say:
“Sorry to wake you, but I’m not comfortable.”

COMMON SITUATIONS & COURTEOUS SOLUTIONS

Someone is in your seat:
Politely show your ticket or ask a flight attendant for help.

A passenger asks to switch seats with you:
Agree if you’re okay with it: “Of course, so you can sit with your son.”
Or decline politely: “Sorry, I’d prefer to keep my assigned seat.”

Your seatmate wants to chat but you’d rather not:
Headphones, with or without sound, are great conversation blockers. Otherwise:
“Excuse me, I’m going to take this time to do some reading.”
“Sorry if I seem unfriendly, I really need some time to recharge.”

A baby won’t stop crying:
That’s just life! And there’s no magic switch to stop a toddler from crying. Just remember—if it were your child, you wouldn’t appreciate the judgmental stares either.

A child is kicking your seat:
No need to panic! As with all situations involving other people’s kids (yes, not yours this time), start by speaking kindly to the parents—with a smile, a knowing look, a gentle word. If the kicking continues, calmly ask a flight attendant for help. With a little luck, you’ll be moved away from the toddler turbulence zone.

Flying together means respecting each other’s senses. By being mindful of our own actions and addressing disturbances with diplomacy, we can all contribute to a more enjoyable flight. Bon voyage!**

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Dealing with incivility and not sure what to say or do? Contact Julie at julie@etiquettejulie.com. In full confidentiality or through learning activities, she offers her expertise to help you shine at work and in your community.

Julie Blais Comeau is a respected etiquette expert in Quebec and across Canada. A sought-after media contributor, energizing speaker, and inspiring author, Julie leads *etiquettejulie.com*, a company dedicated to the art of interpersonal relations. Reach out to benefit from her guidance and learn how to confidently and gracefully navigate any situation—while staying true to yourself.

Translated from April 15, 2025 mitsoumagazine (c) Julie Blais Comeau