Do you find yourself replaying scenes over and over before going to sleep, or daydreaming at work about how to react when a colleague annoys you? Well, you’re not alone. Now that face-to-face working is back in vogue, I receive many e-mails from employees seeking advice on how to manage these tricky situations.

Some annoyances may be insignificant: often, they are linked to personality traits or eccentricities. In such cases, it may be necessary to show patience and acceptance, practicing your favorite Zen techniques.

However, when these behaviors regularly harm the work climate and productivity, it’s important to take action. Here are some suggestions for dealing with the six most common types of irritating co-workers: the chronovore, the interrupter, the latecomer, the heartbreaker, the idea thief and the boss who constantly looks at your phone.

THE CHRONOVORE

Good old chronovore, the champion time-taster! He devours your meticulously planned day and affects your efficiency.

What to say and do to restrict the chronovore’s consumption of your minutes:

• Show him the time and display a clock face to make him aware of how much time he’s eating up.
• When he arrives, tell him clearly how much time you can give him.
• If you’re not available, suggest a specific time slot for a later discussion.
• Keep moving, don’t remain static. Get up, head for the door or the trough, and announce that you need to get back to your tasks.
• If you have to talk, offer to walk while you talk. This will limit the length of the exchange.
• Clearly display your state of mind with a small reversible sign or chart indicating your status: “Available” or “Focused”. When in focus mode, close your door or turn towards the wall and put on your headphones.
• If you have an appointment with him, offer to hold it in his space or in a common area that you can leave at any time.

“I’m sorry, I don’t have time to chat. I really have to work right now.”

THE INTERRUPTER

This is the all-time champion of the speech interrupt, in a meeting or even in casual conversation. The one who sabotages your productivity and kills your inspiration.

What to say and do to maintain control of your contributions and stop interruptions:

When he cuts you off, finish what you’re saying and announce that you’ll let him speak next.

THE INTERRUPTER

This is the all-time champion of the speech interrupt, whether in a meeting or in casual conversation. The one who sabotages your productivity and kills your inspiration.

What to say and do to maintain control of your contributions and stop interruptions:

• When he cuts you off, finish what you’re saying and announce that you’ll let him speak next.
• Contrary to active listening tips, minimize eye contact and nodding, as he may interpret these gestures as an invitation to follow up.

“Once I’ve finished, I’ll give you a chance to speak.”

THE LATECOMER

He’s always late, regardless of the consequences. It’s exasperating and upsetting for the whole team!

How to remind him of the importance of punctuality:

• Change location and set unusual times for appointments, such as starting at 10:40 in the meeting room or at the local café.
• If you’re chairing the meeting, be sure to confirm the time and start on time. Don’t tolerate tardiness.
• At your next face-to-face meeting, which you can also organize yourself, describe the consequences for your schedule, without pointing fingers or laying blame.
• If it’s your boss who’s late, remind him or her of the meeting time earlier in the day or the day before, validating whether the time is still right.

THE SOUL SPILLER

This one throws embarrassing confidences at you without asking your opinion.You’re caught off guard and just want to leave.

How to keep your distance:

• Clearly state your limits and say you don’t have time for confidences.
• If it’s really awkward, tell him outright that you’re not comfortable.
• Refer him to a professional if you feel this is beyond your competence.
• Apologize for having to interrupt the conversation and say you have to work.

“I’m a very private person and prefer to focus on my work.If you need support, our employee assistance program is here for you and your family.”

THE IDEA THIEF

He steals your concepts and projects and appropriates them as if nothing had happened. Exasperating!

How to restore creative justice:

• Protect your ideas by documenting them well and informing your superior.
• If your ideas are stolen in a meeting, raise your hand to remind them of their origin with precision and tact.
• In private meetings, confront the thief and ask him/her to rectify the situation.

THE BOSS IMMERSED IN HIS SCREEN

You perceive this non-verbal message as a lack of respect. His gizmo is becoming more important than you or the meeting.

How can you encourage him to focus on the meeting rather than the device?

• Set a good example. Your behavior can influence your colleagues and your superior.“Just a moment.
• I’m going to put my phone on silent.” And put it face down on the table. By the way, this tip also works for your dates with your girlfriends.
• Before the meeting begins, take a moment to acknowledge and thank your superior for the time he or she takes to meet with you.
• Suggest a team-building activity to establish a code of conduct together, including guidelines for your communications and meetings.

IN BRIEF

Nobody’s perfect, so take time to reflect on your own behavior. What may seem charming at home can be downright tiresome at work. Ask yourself: do my actions motivate or irritate my colleagues?

Are you facing a tricky situation? Need some advice on the right words and actions? Contact Julie at julie@etiquettejulie.com. Anonymously, she offers her expertise to help you and mitsoumagazine.com readers shine at work and in the community.

Julie Blais Comeau is a true authority on etiquette in Quebec and Canada. An in-demand media contributor, energizing speaker and inspiring author, she heads etiquettejulie.com, a company dedicated to the art of interpersonal relationships. Call on her services and discover how she can help you shine in every aspect of your life.With Julie as your guide, you’ll learn how to navigate any situation with confidence and elegance, while staying true to yourself.

Translated from published post June 2024 Mitsou Magazine (c) Julie Blais Comeau