Are you ready to be a Super Super Super Bowl LIII spectator?

It’s this Sunday, February 3^th, that couch coaches, concoctors of decadent foods, and amateurs, as well as Maroon 5 fans, will gather in front of the small, well rather the mega-screen of a home theater, to watch the NFL’s championship game.

Whether you’re cheering for Tom Brady and New England Patriots or Jarob Goff of the Los Angeles Rams, all agree that it will be a historic match. This will be the first time that two Californian quarterbacks will rival in a Super Bowl.

For the majority of watchers, the star will be the game. Others will purposely go to the restroom during the match so as not to miss Maroon 5’s “Sugar” during the halftime show. And all are excited about the spread and snacks; chicken wings, chili, chips, dips, pigs in the blankets, etc. What is your favourite Super Bowl Sunday food? 

Place your bets, gentlemen and ladies too! This holy Sunday is a global happening where all are welcome.

For many, spectators football is their religion. Here are the seventeen commandments of the Super Super Bowl Spectator, including the chicken wing eating protocol.

A Super Super Bowl Spectator is offensive; he shows finesse

1. You shall inquire to your host to find out if you can contribute anything.

2. You shall not arrive empty handed and you shall bring a host gift, such as:

• a football themed service dish, dish towel, apron or accessories,
• your favorite snacks, or
• a cookbook of finger foods and
• if you bring your beverage, also bring a cooler to preserve your host’s fridge space.

3. You shall offer to help with serving appetizers or organize the buffet. Refer to this infographic to set the table.

4. You shall place your bets on time pay promptly, without grumbling.

A Super Super Bowl spectator is defensive: intelligent and disciplined

5. You shall remove your cap during the national anthem. You too ladies, you are not at the Kentucky Derby.

6. You shall not touch the remote control. This is your host’s exclusive privilege.

7. You shall not intercept arrogant fans or Mr. Knowsiltall. Respect others’ opinions and allegiances. Use deflection tactics to restore a smooth conversation.

8. You shall use rated “G” language, especially if children are present.

A Super Super Bowl Spectator is strategic

9. You shall sit according to your interest and you shall honor your place. If you are mainly there for the gathering with friends and if like me, you plan on dancing to Justin’s tunes, leave the front seats for football fans. Your seat is your seat for the whole match. No substitutions allowed. You cannot steal the seat of the constant high fiver who makes contact with every guest, at every point.

10. You shall eat your chicken wings according to protocol:

• Find the widest edge; the cartilage. Remove it.
• Pinch the thinnest bone with your first two fingers and thumb. Twist, pull and throw.
• With the fingers of your other hand, firmly hold the other end.
• Take the wider bone and repeat. Twist, pull and throw.
• Please, please, use your napkin instead of licking your fingers Yes, chicken wings are eaten with your fingers, but licking them should be a solitary activity. Nobody wants to high-five someone’s chicken wing guck. Yuck!

Tip for the host: add a container of wet wipes to your buffet table.

11. You shall not double dip. Once you dip the nacho, no not your macho brother-in-law, and you take a bite, you are forbidden from soaking that end again. Yes, flip dipping is allowed.

12. You shall thank your host twice: when leaving and the next day with a text message, an email or a call. This will ensure that you are invited back next year.

A Super Super Bowl Spectator is respectful

13.You shall respect the clock. You will arrive on time. IN time to for Pink’s rendition of the National anthem. You will leave after the game. Be considerate of your host who works Monday morning by offering to help clean up.

14. You shall let the pros do their job. Don’t coach players unless you are alone on your couch.

15. You shall not take pictures of “deflated” guests. Before you say “cheese”, ask permission.

16. You shall arrange for a safe return home.

17. You shall not call-in “sick” Monday. If you plan to be away and have a floating day, make sure that your colleagues won’t scramble. Make arrangements now.

Enjoy the game, the show and “bon appétit”!

Want to be the quarterback of your career? Find out about Julie’s Executive Coaching Program at julie@etiquettejulie.com.

Revised February 2nd 2019. Published HuffPost Canada February 2, 2018 (c) Julie Blais Comeau