The warm weather has finally arrived. Your sundresses are patiently waiting to be taken out of the closet… and now you’re flooded with invitations to garden parties.

In Victorian times, garden parties were anything but informal. Historically, garden parties were a showcase of refinement, a theater of subtle codes where elegance was displayed in the open air. Even today, it is an art of entertaining, and also of behaving.

Before deciding between a straw hat or a chic scarf, take a moment to familiarize yourself with the customs. From casual elegance to good manners in the open air, here’s how to shine without blushing.

HANDSHAKE, KISS, OR HUG? The way you greet someone sets the tone.

• The handshake: Inherited from knights to prove that one was unarmed, today it is a symbol of respect and professional etiquette. Is your grip limp, firm, or too forceful? It says a lot. Not sure? Write to me for feedback and coaching.
• The air kiss: This requires finesse. Tilt your head to the left, right cheek against right cheek, without making a sound or leaving a mark. Twice, never three times, unless regional customs justify it. A little historical tidbit: in the past, air kissing served as a screening tool. Members of the same family could detect signs of illness simply by smelling each other’s breath.
• The hug: The hug is gaining popularity, but it is not universal. It requires closeness or a relaxed context. A glance or a smile is often enough to gauge openness. Otherwise, it is better to keep your arms free for the rosé and crudités.
• What if you prefer to avoid contact? A hand on the heart, a sincere smile, and a warm greeting are enough to establish a polite and respectful connection.

Golden rule: let your host or guests guide you.

WHAT TO TALK ABOUT? Preparing a few topics in advance will give you confidence.

There’s nothing worse than finding yourself facing an empty glass and an awkward silence. Preparing a few topics in advance shows finesse.

• For familiar faces, ask personalized questions: “How’s your daughter doing starting college?” “I saw your exhibition online, it was superb.”
• For new acquaintances, here are a few ideas:

– How do you know our host?

– Any vacation plans for this summer?

– Any summer recipes you’d recommend?

– Any upcoming cultural events?

– Any favorite books or TV shows?

– A sincere compliment: “I love your dress. Is it locally made?”

For everyone, topics to generally avoid:

– Political debates

– Personal finances

– Overly intimate health questions

– Criticism or gossip, even subtle

The keyword: lightheartedness. Stay cheerful, inclusive, and kind.

WHAT IS THE PERFECT HOSTESS GIFT? Leaving an elegant souvenir shows your thoughtfulness.

Hostess gifts are a way of reciprocating the hostess’s hospitality during the season.

The ideal gift? A non-permanent item, related to the season, and carefully chosen according to the host’s tastes. For summer, we recommend:

– A potted herb garden

– Infused oils or vinegars

– A lantern or garden decoration

– Barbecue or picnic accessories

If you are invited to a potluck dinner: offer the serving dish in which you bring your contribution, along with utensils, all wrapped in a pretty dish towel or tablecloth. Practical, elegant, and eco-friendly.

When choosing, let yourself be guided by your hostess’s style, colors, and preferences. It’s these details that make the biggest impression.

THANK YOU IN STYLE

A successful garden party is more than just a bucolic setting, bubbles, and appetizers. It’s a moment of hospitality and generosity that deserves to be highlighted. As a guest, a thank-you note is a thoughtful gesture that prolongs the pleasure and reflects your interpersonal elegance.

The art of the thank-you note in five steps:

1)    The greeting

A simple “Hello Marie” or “Dear Ms. Tremblay,” depending on your level of intimacy and how much Prosecco you shared.

2)    The sincere thank you

No need to overdo it: “What a pleasure it was to be invited to your little corner of paradise.”

3)    The little detail that kills

“I loved your watermelon Cosmo! I’m sure Carrie (Sex & the City) approves.”

4)    Let’s stay in touch

How about we do it again with a picnic by the water?

5)    The final word

Summer greetings, With gratitude… or a hand-drawn heart.

A text message is practical. A card is unforgettable.

Tip to avoid procrastinating: always have a few cards on hand, it’s a bit like keeping a little black dress in your seasonal wardrobe, you never know…

Despite its casual appearance, the garden party remains a subtle art. Knowing how to greet with grace, converse with ease, give with taste, and thank with heart.

Despite its relaxed atmosphere, a garden party remains a subtle art. By knowing how to greet guests gracefully, converse lightly, offer gifts tastefully, and thank guests sincerely, you will shine with your presence, politeness, and attentiveness.

Above all, don’t forget to respond to the invitation in a timely manner. Elegance begins with the RSVP.

P.S. If you are the host, don’t panic, reread MY 3, 2, 1 METHOD FOR STRESS-FREE HOSTING DURING THE HOLIDAYS.

Translated from published mitsoumagazine.com July 23, 2025 (c) Julie Blais Comeau