Afternoon Tea Etiquette
The arrival of spring is a time for celebration, femininity and conviviality. It’s in this whirlwind of renewal that afternoon tea, or English tea, finds its splendor for gatherings of friends – a shower, Mother’s Day, a birthday, or even a networking event among businesswomen. Every cup of tea and every bite promises sharing and complicity.
Afternoon tea involves certain rituals and protocols. Whether you’re discovering this tradition for the first time or looking for answers to your questions, I present its origins, traditions and do’s and don’ts, with or without a little finger in the air.
THANK YOU, DUCHESS!
The history of afternoon tea dates back to the 1840s. In those days, dinner was served late into the evening. Anna, the seventh Duchess of Bedford, regularly felt peckish around 4pm. Queen Victoria’s lifelong friend would discreetly order tea, bread and butter to satisfy her hunger. Wishing for company, she decided to invite her girlfriends to her snack. At the sound of her bell, sweet and savory treats appeared on low tables in her boudoir. Who doesn’t love sipping tea, savoring morsels and chatting with friends? Anna had just set a trend.
ROYAL TE
“Dar-r-ling, we had high tea at the Ritz in London,” your chichi sister-in-law told you on her way back from her tour of England. While she certainly enjoyed the traditional afternoon tea rituals at this chic establishment, it’s important to know that high tea was originally the evening meal for the household servants. Served between 5 p.m. and 7 p.m., it was the meal of the working class, the one served before high society got its fill. Although some places here advertise high tea, what they actually offer is more akin to afternoon tea.
As for royal tea, it’s the luxurious, festive version of the traditional English tea. The extra touch of elegance is the addition of a flute of champagne or a glass of sherry. Royal tea is a popular option for special occasions and important celebrations.
FINGER IN THE AIR OR NOT?
In the days when tea was emerging as a veritable institution, cups were delicate porcelain jewels… with no handles. Holding a cup of tea was an art in itself, with the thumb at six o’clock, the index finger at twelve, and the little finger proudly raised to ensure perfect balance. It was a delicate dance between tradition and refinement.
The way to hold a cup of tea has evolved over time. The cup now rests in the right hand, with the thumb positioned in front of the handle and the index and middle fingers delicately placed at the back. The elevation of the famous little finger is left to the discretion of each individual. Funnily enough, I often observe this delicate mark of distinction among men of stature. To keep their fragile cups in balance, they have to resort to this elevation of the little finger. Watch next time, you’ll smile.
In addition to holding the cup, there are a number of prohibitions to be observed: don’t tip the cup from side to side, leave the saucer on the table and, above all, don’t put your fingers through the cup’s handle. You never know when royalty might appear!
A CLOUD OF MILK, MY DEAR?
In the intricacies of tea etiquette, this question remains. Traditionally, by the laws of physics, milk entered the cup first. This protocol protected the precious porcelain from the burns of boiling water poured into icy cups, due to poorly-heated thatched cottages in winter (and what about castles? They froze!). In our modern world, comfort reigns and the approach is more flexible. Let your tea steep. Watch the color develop. Add milk to taste. That’s all there is to it!
Instead of milk, to flavor tea, a slice of lemon can float delicately in the cup. When lemons are served in wedges, it’s customary to protect them with gauze to prevent splashes of juice and seeds when squeezing them into your cup. Alternatively, it’s a good idea to use your fingers carefully to extract the juice from the lemon wedge, which will then rest on the side of the saucer.
In the art of tea tasting, there’s one golden rule: never stir the liquid in a circular motion by banging the inside of the cup with your spoon. The correct method? Silently. Stir the tea gently by tilting your spoon, without touching the cup, two or three times, between midday and six o’clock. Then remove your spoon. Rest it gracefully on the saucer to the right of the cup.
A TIER FOR EVERY TREAT
At the top of the tray are scones. This tradition has its roots in the very history of afternoon tea: a warming dome was delicately placed over the scones to ensure they were always served to perfection.
On the middle floor, a parade of savory entremets and sandwiches will be placed. This strategic position testifies to the attention paid to the harmony of flavors and textures.
On the lower floor, the sweet show embodies all the finesse of afternoon tea. Now you know how to present your mignardises if you’re hosting one at home!
FASCINATOR OR NOT?
In the world of afternoon tea, the question of wearing a hat inevitably arises.In keeping with traditional dress etiquette, ladies always have the privilege of keeping their bibi indoors before 6pm, provided it in no way impairs the view or comfort of other guests.
This is a moment of elegance and conviviality, where tradition blends harmoniously with the pleasure of sharing delicious food and lively conversation.Whether you opt for strict adherence to protocol or a freer interpretation, the most important thing is to share these precious moments with your loved ones.Make the most of every moment to bond with those you love and who love you.Cheers, darling!
Would you like to know more?Julie hosts workshops on afternoon tea and table etiquette.
Julie Blais Comeau is a true authority on etiquette in Quebec and Canada. An in-demand media contributor, energizing speaker and inspiring author, she heads etiquettejulie.com, a company dedicated to the art of interpersonal relationships.Call on her services and discover how she can help you shine in every aspect of your life.
With Julie as your guide, you’ll learn how to navigate any situation with confidence and elegance, while staying true to yourself.
Translate from published post April 2024 Mitsou Magazine (c) Julie Blais Comeau